This is the second journal I'm writing about my life. This time I found a piece of paper hanging out of some guy's pocket. It was kinda weird and was yellow and small. The word on the cover flap said- "checkbook" whatever that meant. I had no need for fancy paper, I just needed money for a real bed and a house. My life is finally on the right track. I got a so called "friend" named Miller and am now living down the block from him by CVS. There was one problem with Miller though. Besides his insanity to cook crystal Nyan, he had a pet mouse, that I hate. Last night I was starving and wanted to cook it and roast it for dinner, but Miller walked in and flipped out! Unfortunately, the rat was already deep fried and the guy from McDonalds came over and put it in a Happy Meal. Miller didn't care. He wanted his mouse back. Then we heard a laugh and I turned around. Mr. Ronald McDonald laughed maniacally and smiled menacingly at us. "Your not getting your rat back unless you can catch me first!" He said, and ran, laughing. Miller ran after him shouting, "Hey, you can't do that!." If you read the last part you know that I only had one arm. The other was just a stump that I had eaten. But wait, I still had some of the bony fingers in my dumpster! I could give them to Ronald and maybe he would let go of Miller's rat. I hadn't moved. I felt as if.. As if something were watching us. Slowly I turned around, and saw a pair of black eyes staring back at me from a bush. In his mouth were non other than my bony fingers. The cat lept out at me and I yelled and ducked. I felt the cat's claws dig into my shoulder, but then it stopped it's attack. I fell on the ground and looked up. The cat looked up and sniffed around. Then Miller came back with a can of Radioactive material and threw it at the cat, causing it to grow 3 times it's size. It's eyes were level with mine. It sniffed. It sniffed again. It smelled something... Then it turned and ran off. Miller said, "Wait! We were gonna eat you!"
Meanwhile Ronald McDonald and his cronies were serving the rat to Darkus. The giant cat broke through the window and at Ronald, but Nicere jumped out of no where and threw a chicken wing at the beast. The cat grumbled and dropped McDonald. I ran up to the broken window just in time to see Nicere get devoured. Darkus got up and picked up the rat- and started to eat it. The cat saw the rat and charged- it was the thing he was always after. It ate Darkus and Miller let out a loud cry of pain and sadness. He took Ronald McDonald and shoved him into the cat's mouth. He then took the Crystal Nyan from his pocket and poured radioactive material in a bottle on it. I caught on to this and started to make a fire while to cat shook around with McDonald in its mouth. With one final spark the fire was lit and the whole table ignited into fumes and smoke. Miller took the radioactive met- Nyan and threw the whole bottle of it into the fire. It exploded and new wisps of smoke went everywhere. McDonald sniffed it in and immediately started to expand. His eyes puffed out of his head and one of them fell into his mouth, blocking the only air hole and making him start to choke. The Cat choked too and it's fur caught on fire and started to melt. Now I had to thank Miller for being the best at everything Nyan-Crack. McDonald's arms flailed and I watched in disgust when suddenly I saw a metal bar fall right in front of me. Looking up, I saw that the whole establishment was on fire and burning to the ground! "Miller, let's get out of here!' I said. Now the fumes were getting to me too. "You go," he said. "I came here for a reason and I'm not going to give up what is rightfully mine!"
I escaped with my life that dreadful day. I painfully crawled through the parking lot and into the nearest sewer, but since then, I have still not heard anything from Miller. The McDonalds is gone. The last thing I remember is hearing the awful roar of the great cat and the giddy laugh of McDonald as the great "M" broke down and fell, and some horses trotted out from the back- hooveless. Now I'm out of paper, and you are caught up to the present.
If you are reading this now, that means that I clicked the published button, and my life is taking a turn for the worse...