One day, in the year 2012, I fell asleep and had a strange dream. I was back in my childhood home playing a videogame that you all know of as “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess”. Being 5 then, all I did was fumble around with the controls and laugh when Link jumped and rolled into things. I woke up, and smiled. That dream had brought back memories, so I dragged out the Gamecube and Twilight Princess.
After eating my breakfast, I booted up Twilight Princess to see the beautiful opening. Link running over the Bridge of Eldin on Epona. I smiled again. It was going to be a nostalgic day filled with Zelda. I pressed the start button, and for some reason, as soon as the file select screen started up, Link seemed to disappear in Epona for a split second right before the other screen loaded. Assuming it was a glitch, I selected a new file, and and the game started up normally.
The first three hours in Ordon Village were normal. I did it flawlessly, and everything suddenly changed when I reached the forest temple. Instead of Link receiving his signature Green clothes, the clothes he received where as black as the night on a new moon. I thought it is a new texture, and smirked. It looked pretty cool to me. But then something caught me off guard. Link’s hair had turned a terrifying white. I hid a scream inside of me, but a bit escaped out.
I entered the temple, and immediately, I was stuck. The monkeys were dead, and a text box popped up: “YOU HAVE BEEN THE NASTY” I was confused the monkeys didn’t deserve this. Link turned to the screen. “It is me” He whispered, as his left arm slowly ripped off of his flesh. A tear ran down my cheek as I saw my childhood hero being mutilated. A loud scream was audible, except it sounded like surrounding. I screamed audibly this time, but I decided to go on in the game, because despite my fear, I was intreigred.
I tried moving Link. His steps were painful, and as he entered the main map of the level, his eyes burst out of his skull and rolled around on the floor like olives. Link turned around again, and whispered again, “Me it is”. He said the same thing in a different way! That is scary. I was truly terrified this time. But nothing could match up to the horror of what I saw next. I turned the camera up and saw something disgusting: Zelda was dangling from the ceiling without limbs… But her mouth opened: “WhY wOuLd YoU lEt ThIs HaPpEn, lInK?&” Link seemed to smile, then pulled out his arrow. It went straight into Zelda’s head, and she fell from the ceiling. Link stepped on her dead body and laughed.
I dove onto the floor, and shut off the gamecube, but the image of dead Zelda stayed on the screen. To this day, that image haunts me. I ripped the game out of the Gamecube, and burst into tears. I ran to throw it out, but when I opened my garbage can, there it was. 300 copies of this exact disc, and the bloody head of Zelda, hyper-realistic due to this being real life…
(Note: Not my pasta. I found it online and saved it here before it got deleted.)